Whew! We made it through another Black Friday.

Still there’s much to do within the next 25 days: buying a Christmas tree, decorating the house; preparing for visiting relatives and friends; finishing off that gift list; shopping for Christmas dinner supplies; setting your holiday table to look like a magazine spread, and then cooking all the food, and serving it with a smile!

Step aside, Martha Stewart. We’ve got this.

Wait. Scratch that. Martha’s got teams to do for her what others do themselves, and anyone who tries to “do it all” as perfectly and perkily as she seems to, risks becoming immersed in a good amount of stress.

When Jonie and Nate Jackson’s now-adult, three children were young, at this time of year, Mrs. Jackson was the classic image of the overwhelmed wife, mother, and professional.

“When the holidays came, I was totally stressed out trying to meet expectations on the job and as a mother and as a wife and as a friend,” said Mrs. Jackson, of Toledo, retired director of admissions for Central Catholic High School.

The grandmother of two learned valuable lessons from those years.

“You really have to know how to organize, compartmentalize, and realize what you can and cannot do. The more you plan and organize, the better things will be for you,” she added. “It’s not the end of the world if you don’t get it all done. Everything is not going to be perfect. ”

Local psychologist Marina Lung of Marina Lung and Associates said Mrs. Jackson’s suggestions are key to maintaining ease and warding off stress.

“In order to reduce that overwhelming feeling of trying to beat the clock and the deadlines, and always being reminded that there are so many days until Christmas, those who do it well, are the most organized. They have an organization plan and that gives them a feeling of being on top of it,” said Ms. Lung.

While she urged making a list of what’s yet to be done, maintaining a calendar, and using your smart phone to pace when to shop, and clean the house, she said setting realistic expectations helps.

“We all have a problem with that. We have that Hallmark ideal,” said Ms. Lung. “There are going to be some things that fall in the cracks. You have to be flexible, and say, ‘Oops! I forgot that one!’ and go on, rather than having it spoil the whole Christmas. We’re prone to forgetting a few things. It’s going to happen.”

And sometimes it’s the tree that doesn’t go up until just before Christmas Day and stays up well into the New Year. The Jacksons try to get their children involved, but it doesn’t always work out.

“We try to make it a family affair. It all depends on where people are on that day,” Jonie Jackson said, adding that the task often falls on her and her husband. “When they were younger, we went out and picked a tree, brought it home, and let it set for a couple of days or a week, depending on how crazy I was because I worked.”

Then at the end of the holiday season, taking the tree down posed a challenge, too.

“Those were times I couldn’t worry about whether a tree was down or not,” said Mrs. Jackson, explaining that there were times the family tree remained well into the New Year.

Another reason to proceed with caution through the holidays is that stress, loneliness, and anxiety about providing Christmas for the family can affect one physically.

“I think stress can lead to illnesses,” said Dr. Kris Brickman, chairman of emergency medicine at the University of Toledo Medical College, formerly the Medical College of Ohio. “Loneliness can lead to heart attacks, the increased stress can sort of alter your immune system and decrease the body’s defenses. Anything that affects your immune system affects your ability to fight off diseases.”

So, during these final weeks of the year some are more apt to becoming ill, because holiday stress can affect one’s immune system and make one more susceptible to getting colds and other illnesses, Dr. Brickman said.

Emergency rooms also see an uptick in visits from those who may be experiencing psychiatric issues, increased anxiety, depression, and suicidal tendencies, and the like, he added. These conditions may increase during the holidays among some who see others having a good time and buying Christmas presents, he said.

While financial constraints are known to cause stress, it’s true during the holidays too.

“It’s a lot of pressure that often we overspend during the holidays. Because it’s emotional spending, we need to sit down and think, ‘Is this really something that is necessary or could we do with a little bit less?’ Stay within a budget and avoid credit card debt,” said Ms. Lung, to avoid having to still pay off Christmas in the following July.

It’s supposed to be the most joyous time of year, and even abusers try to capture the spirit of the season. In some cases, though, the effort backfires.

“For the general world, it’s difficult to understand the dynamics of domestic violence,” said Lisa McDuffie, director of the YWCA which houses the battered women’s shelter, who added that even some abusers want their families to have a nice holiday. However, it doesn’t always happen.

She noted that “Typically around the holidays we have a peak,” in women seeking refuge from abusers. “The holidays bring out all sorts of things, from the stress of not being able to provide the gifts and that sort of thing that oftentimes perpetrators or abusers really do to try to look out for their wives and children,” she said. And when they can’t, some who are unemployed might turn to illegal substances “to try to medicate that pain.”

However, whether or not gifts are piled underneath a gorgeously decorated tree, the refrigerator is full of the traditional holiday foods, and there is a beautifully set table, Mrs. Jackson sums up what really matters: the family, whether friends or relatives.

“So even if you don’t get all the decorations up, the most important thing is that you have good fellowship with your family,” she said. “One of the other things I really had to learn was to live in the moment and enjoy that moment. Enjoy that day. That might mean some things don’t get done. Maybe a dish doesn’t get made. A tree doesn’t get up. Maybe you don’t get the gift that you wanted to buy.

“But just live in the moment.”

Contact Rose Russell at: rrussell@theblade.com or 419-724-6178.

First Published November 29, 2015, 5:00 a.m.