I recently enjoyed a lovely potluck dinner hosted jointly by the Women of Toledo, a multicultural group dedicated to building friendships and community, and our local branch of the American Association of University Women.

It was an exceptional buffet of homemade ethnic specialties, from a Tatar “vinegret” salad (beets, potatoes, carrots, peas, and pickles) and Middle Eastern shish barak (small, hand-formed dumplings in a tart yogurt soup) to majudarrah (lentils with rice and caramelized onions) and a crisp Mediterranean-influenced salsa. There were also Swedish pancakes with lingonberry jam, jambalaya rice, boiled spice cake, and oh so much more.

Needless to say, I ate exceptionally well while making new friends. I always say, those are the two best perks of my job.

I was the evening’s entertainment, invited to talk about the topic “Sharing Food, Sharing Lives.” Diversity, relationships, and understanding were all a part of the theme, especially in terms of how they’re nurtured through food.

Groups of women all over the world share their lives over food, including an organization of Wisconsin farmers and a half-dozen Ann Arborites from Arab and Jewish backgrounds. The farmers share a potluck created with the foods they grow, raise, and produce, as they exchange information, create bonds, and empower each other in a male-dominated profession. The members of Zeitouna (which means “olive tree” in Arabic) bring dishes from their families’ backgrounds to their shared meals, gatherings that foster dialogue in which every woman’s story is heard and respected as they seek unity and, ultimately, a broader peace.

In addition to enjoying the food and the friendships that come with my job, I love learning about an astounding variety of topics: history, languages, cultures, cooking techniques, and so very much more.

And while doing research for my talk, I found something particularly interesting to contemplate. There was a simple but significant notion to think about: the difference between sharing a meal and sharing food.

To be honest, despite my love of language and semantics, I’d never really put much thought into the distinction. But each concept is, indeed, distinct.

A professor of communications at the University of Antwerp in Belgium clarifies the difference this way: to share a meal is to go out to eat, with each diner ordering a separate dish as members of the group eat together. Sharing food, however, is about food that everyone partakes of and, ideally, food that everyone has helped to prepare, too.

A family-style meal, where trays and platters are passed, offers a greater sense of sharing, of oneness, than individual portions do. We are patient as we wait our turn, sometimes even offering assistance as someone takes a serving from a large or cumbersome dish, and we naturally interact with our neighbors as we hand each item to the next person. Communication and conviviality are fostered when there’s a deep sense of belonging, of cohesiveness, of community.

There’s an entirely different dynamic, even among strangers, when you share food, isn’t there?

Take note of this the next time you’re preparing your family’s dinner or planning some sort of get-together or even a small meeting. If everyone can contribute, if everyone stakes a claim to providing food in addition to eating it, that’s best of all. Get kids involved in the cooking, plan a potluck ... something that includes everyone.

Because when we share our food, we share our efforts, our talents, our days, our thoughts, our jokes, our disappointments, our joys, our plans, our dreams.

We truly do share our lives.

Contact Mary Bilyeu at mbilyeu@theblade.com or 419-724-6155.

First Published May 31, 2016, 4:00 a.m.