COLUMBUS -- As Americans enter Memorial Day weekend, Gov. John Kasich Friday laid a wreath at a Statehouse memorial, the widow of a fallen McClure fighter pilot at his side.

"[The day is] not about barbecues,'' he said. "It's not about hot dogs and baseball games. It's about the need for reflection and to thank those who simply put their lives on the line for a cause. In our country, it's the cause of freedom."

Lorin Sonnenberg recalled what her husband, Lt. Col. Kevin Sonnenberg -- a farmer, father, and Ohio National Guard 180th Fighter Wing pilot -- used to say before she saw him for the last time as he took off with 13 F-16s heading for Iraq. They'd been married less than a year when his plane crashed in 2007.

"If we weren't over there, they would be over here," he used to tell her.

Ms. Sonnenberg wondered aloud why she was the widow who was asked to speak during a Statehouse ceremony honoring fallen soldiers.

"Believe me, I am not the poster child for a grieving widow," she said. "I have bad days, really bad days. I get angry, bitter, sad, and lonely. But you know what? At the end of the day, I can say I made it. I made it another day without my beloved husband."

Dressed in bright yellow, the color of the ribbons that welcome home and honor military members, she noted that war does not discriminate.

"Our military, we are all soldiers," she said. "We are Democrats. We are Republicans. We are different races and different religions. We come from all parts of the United States. We live together and fight for democracy, and we know that freedom is not free."

The 180th had been set to fly over the event, but the maneuver was canceled because of the weather.

First Published May 28, 2011, 5:10 a.m.