“If anyone had an excuse to lose faith in God, it would've been me.”
- Jay Bakker
Jay Bakker was 11 years old when his whole world collapsed - for reasons far beyond his youthful understanding.
He had grown up on television in the spotlights and shadows of his televangelist parents, Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. The high-profile pair had built a Christian-right empire, starting in 1961 with a puppet show on a local TV station and growing into the global PTL (Praise the Lord) satellite network. They also created Heritage USA, a sprawling Christian retreat in Virginia with hotels, TV studios, campgrounds, and a water park, drawing 6 million visitors a year.
The Bakkers' fall from grace started in January, 1987, when news media uncovered Jim Bakker's 1980 affair with Jessica Hahn and the hush money paid to keep her quiet. Evangelist Jerry Falwell interceded as a self-appointed guardian of PTL and Heritage USA and eventually wrested them away from the Bakkers.
The following year, Jim Bakker was convicted on 24 charges of defrauding his supporters, was sentenced to 45 years in prison, and suffered a nervous breakdown that was broadcast on national TV.
Tammy Faye, meanwhile, known for her flamboyant clothes and mounds of makeup, battled with an addiction to tranquilizers and ended up divorcing her imprisoned husband.
The collapse of the Bakker empire made headlines for years, but few paid attention to the devastating impact it had on the family's two children.
Jay Bakker, now 25, decided to tell the story from his inside view in an autobiography, Son of a Preacher Man: My Search for Grace in the Shadows, published last year by Harper San Francisco.
He serves as pastor of a church he founded called Revolution, in downtown AtlanTa, which ministers to punk rockers, skateboarders, skinheads, goths, and assorted young outcasts.
With a steel ring through his bottom lip and tattoos of Jesus, a cross, praying hands, a microphone, and much more on his arms, Mr. Bakker relates to his flock of social outcasts, and they relate to him. The merciless betrayal of his family by former friends and associates had turned Mr. Bakker away from mainline religion and mainstream society for good.
“One of the main motivations of writing the book was to keep this type of thing from happening in the church again,” he said in a recent interview from his Atlanta church. “One, to keep people from losing their ministries, and two, to help people realize the importance of restoring people when they fall instead of laughing and judging and pointing fingers.
“It's important to reach out to people when they're hurting. The basis of Christ dying on the cross was forgiveness of sin and restoration to God. I want this book to help people remember that concept.
“I also want to help people see my parents in a different view - as normal people, not as the media have made them out to be, or as so many people made them out to be.”
Much criticism was hurled at the Bakkers, for example, for building a lavish retreat with hotels and a water park, but Jay Bakker said it made perfect sense to give children something to do when the family goes on vacation.
“Before the water park was built, teenagers did not want to come to Heritage USA,” he said, then gave an example of what kids might tell their parents: “`Yeah, mom and dad, that'll be a fun vacation, going to church every day. Let's go to Disney World instead.'”
The insults and betrayals of his family by former friends and Christians around the country made young Bakker wonder if God was real and if so, how he could let such cruelty take place.
In his book, he details an endless stream of incidents in which he was subjected to ridicule and rejection by people he had thought were his friends.
He said he was surprised that he felt a sense of belonging when, on orders from school administrators, he began attending group counseling sessions with skinheads, skateboarders, alcoholics, and other hurting teens.
Today, he identifies with his flock of “punk rockers and tattoo artists and piercers and goths and all the outcasts,” as he described them.
Being a pastor wasn't his first choice for a career.
“At one time I was in a band and I thought about doing that. And I also thought about becoming a policeman. And I thought about joining the peace corps. I've had different ideas of what I wanted to do. I even acted a little in high school.
“But my heart really is for hurting people. I just couldn't escape that no matter what I did. I really fell back in love with Jesus in a unique way. I never was like `called' into the ministry. I went back into the ministry because I realized how great God is, how unconditional his love is. And I wanted to tell people about it. I just wanted to tell people that God loves them.”
When he gets rolling on the subject of God's love, Mr. Bakker's voice picks up speed and simmers with emotion. He begins preaching, punctuating his points with Bible references.
“`For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,'” he said, the scriptures beginning to flow. “That's what it says in Romans 3:23. But in Colossians 1:22 it says, `But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.'”
It's not about human talent or abilities, he said, quoting Ephesians 2:9: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.”
He capped off his mini-sermon with 1 Corinthians 13:7, part of a scripture often recited at weddings: “[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
He paused for a moment. “Whew! That was good preaching. You must have got saved five times during this interview!”
Mr. Bakker said such Bible verses convinced him that no matter what had happened to his family, God's love would prevail. And he felt an urgency to share his revelation with others.
“It blew me away. I had to go out and tell people, restore hurting people.”
He found his place as a pastor to people whom other churches have rejected.
“There's always been a double standard in the church,” Mr. Bakker said. “When a businessman gets saved, it's, `Hallelujah!' When a punk rocker gets saved, it's, `Take out your earring and change your hair first.' But they're all the same! They're people!”
Mr. Bakker and his wife, Amanda, welcome between 15 and 50 people to Revolution's Monday night Bible studies.
“We have to try to reach these kids where they're at,” he said. “If kids come in and they have a CD, they can play it. I don't care if it's Ozzy Osbourne or Marilyn Manson. They don't usually expect to hear that at a Bible study. We want them to come as they are. We accept them as they are. We're molding our programs around them, instead of saying you've got to fit the mold of our program. That's what happened to me my entire teenage life, I was told to be something I'm not.”
First Published March 31, 2001, 12:50 p.m.
