PLYMOUTH, Mich. — If you’re not happy with this year’s election polls, turn to 2024’s The Political Machine.

Out for PC on Thursday, this turn-based political strategy game from Plymouth, Mich.-based Stardock Corporation lets players choose from an array of bobbleheaded versions of real-life candidates before siccing them against each other in a duel for the presidency.

“The presidential campaigns make for a perfect video game,” said Stardock CEO Brad Wardell in a recent interview with The Blade.

He finds it unbelievable that The Political Machine is the only presidential simulator he knows of, considering that “the United States is a board game, with the states — and they’re worth points and everything!”

It’s easy to see Wardell’s point when you look at The Political Machine 2024’s sprawling blue-and-red electoral U.S. map, eagerly laid out for candidates to see who can shake the most hands and kiss the most babies.

“The Founding Fathers clearly knew someday there would be video games, and this is what they had in mind,” Wardell joked.

Reflecting reality

Candidates’ stat blocks differ slightly from the usual fantasy fare. Higher stamina lets candidates cover more ground on the campaign trail, experience refers to time spent in government offices, and charisma helps coax voters over to your side.

Stardock has been making versions of The Political Machine since 2004, when the candidates included throwbacks like Al Gore, John Kerry, and John Edwards. Now, you can play against more current players like Donald Trump, Nikki Haley, and Hillary Clinton.

The custom character builder lets players Build-a-Politician, too, so player stand-ins or even approximations of fictional characters like Shrek can join in on the fun.

The Political Machine’s graphics are clean but a touch sterile. While the bobblehead aesthetic from earlier editions has improved, previous iterations’ user interfaces were more charming.

This edition is the first to include a primary mode, with players competing against other members of their party for the chance to win the presidential nomination. The game also introduces Political Action Cards, which let you trade political capital for a range of effects that impact the election in sweeping ways, as well as a promising multiplayer mode so that you can test how strong your friendships really are.

Gimmicky premise aside, The Political Machine’s thoughtful translation of the electoral system often mirrors — and distorts — our present day.

I picked Vivek Ramaswamy as the man to beat Bernie Sanders (what a primary season that must have been!) and took a perverse pleasure in turning Sanders’ home state of Vermont against him with an endless stream of campaign speeches and advertisements.

The presidential debates were the game’s major problem, with the moderators’ response not always matching up to my answers, sometimes responding to me like I’d taken the opposite stance.

With plenty of in-jokes for the political savvy on both sides of the fence, it makes sense that Stardock has employees spanning the political spectrum at Wardell's studio.

“We have people like on the MAGA far right, and then on the very, very far left, and we all have a good time,” Wardell said. Mimicking the banter between his employees, Wardell added, “’They’ll go like, ‘what, are you gonna put me in your gulag?’ ‘Sit down, MAGA boy!’”

This variety of opinions consistently bleeds through in the game’s tongue-in-cheek writing. Usually it’s funny; occasionally you get the impression that someone isn’t as clever as they think they are.

The Political Machine isn’t a replacement for serious political discourse, but in a country where the election cycle feels relentless, seizing control to build a world where one’s personal dreams (and nightmares) come true is not only fun but strangely liberating.

A power fantasy from unexpected quarters, the strategic game underlying The Political Machine’s gleeful lampooning of American political culture will hopefully keep the game around longer than the average news bite.

Larger legacy

It helps that Stardock has been making strategy games since before — well, not before the current slew of presidential candidates were born. But Wardell’s company has been in the turn-based strategy business longer than Barron Trump has been alive, at least.

The most recent entry in Stardock’s long lineage of space games is 2021’s Galactic Civilizations IV, with its first entry releasing in 1994 for the now-defunct OS/2 operating system.

Unlike its zany cousin The Political Machine, Galactic Civilizations is a traditional 4X strategy game, a term that stands for “explore, expand, exploit, and exterminate,” and originates with 1993’s Masters of Orion.

For GalCiv IV, this means scouting and claiming new planets, gathering resources, practicing diplomacy with other alien civilizations, and generally exploring the far reaches of an unknowable cosmos.

As a fan of the genre, playing GalCiv was like sinking into a familiar armchair with a cup of tea and a nice book — including the part where you find yourself too comfortable to get up.

Just as the vast expanse of the universe is both terrible and wondrous, so too was it for me when I discovered how many hours had passed since I had first sat down.

My familiarity with the genre kept the learning curve low, but newcomers won’t have the same experience.

While forum searches (an early sign of descent into obsession) have since informed me that Xeloxi are one of the worst species to start the game with, I am not immune to the allure of sexy green alien women, even if it means your citizens are terrible people and the whole galaxy hates you.

Exploring GalCiv’s galaxies was so fun that I hardly minded any mishaps, such as foolishly attempting to fight a rival for colonizing a planet I’d coveted. Instantly demolished, I ran home with my (green) tail between my legs, building up my fleet to win another day.

The original GalCiv remains one of Wardell’s proudest achievements.

“It’s a really fun game for having in-depth political and ideological philosophies of aliens, how different alien civilizations might have evolved,” Wardell said. “I've really enjoyed being able to do that kind of thing.”

PC codes of Galactic Civilizations IV and The Political Machine 2024 were provided by the publisher.

First Published May 2, 2024, 5:00 p.m.