COLUMBUS — Sending your kids off to college is a stressful time for any parent.
Adding college football to the equation creates even more stress and unknowns for parents who are spread across the country.
The Football Parents At Ohio State organization, in accordance with the OSU compliance department, acts as a liaison, providing insight and support for families that seek guidance on navigating the rigors of big-time college football.
The organization has never been more important than the current season, postponed and reborn with invasive daily testing, a coronavirus outbreak, canceled games, life inside a bubble at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center, and months away from family and friends.
“Our families have been unbelievable,” Ohio State coach Ryan Day said last week, prior to his own positive test. “I think the communication has been good. But I think they miss their sons. During this week, it’s not easy for them. But I know their support really matters. They sent some videos last Friday night, which really cheered up the guys. People don’t realize the sacrifices they’ve made and being so isolated.”
The exclusion of families from Ohio Stadium at the Nov. 21 game against Indiana, made with a recommendation by Columbus Public Health, was particularly demoralizing. Parents were already limited in the contact they could have with their sons after games. Now, they weren’t allowed to attend a top-10 showdown.
Then came a surge in positive cases that led to the cancellation of last week’s game at Illinois, the latest setback in a year filled with misfortune.
“It’s definitely a struggle,” said Jim Gant, vice president of FPAOS and the father of Toledo native Dallas Gant, an Ohio State linebacker. “There’s a mental toll on everyone. You can imagine a 19-, 20-, 21-year-old kid having to deal with everything and not having their family around.”
The Football Parents At Ohio State organization dates to Urban Meyer’s first season in 2012. An all-in culture was formed, and parents were part of the foundation. What started out as small get-togethers for mothers and fathers of Buckeye football players has grown into a bona fide institution, an extended family for parents and players to lean on, confide in, and celebrate with.
Ohio State’s roster features players from Hawaii to New York, Washington to Florida. Twenty-three states in all are represented. Players and their families are immediately integrated into FPAOS, manifesting the familial model the group strives to shape.
“To be able to connect with others in some formalistic way and to engage with other parents who are going through the same thing is awesome,” Jim Gant said. “If you think about all the information regarding a student-athlete and having an organization that can look at it from a parent perspective, whether it’s going to the NFL, what happens when my son gets injured, how do we talk to the coaches. In this case, it’s what the school is doing for COVID. Where do we meet up for the kids after the game? There are a lot of questions to be asked. Having a support system to answer those questions and provide resources, I’m assuming it’s pretty doggone unique.”
The bond between players, parents, and the football program is undeniable, especially after multiple protests organized by Randy Wade, the father of All-American cornerback Shaun Wade, in the wake of the Big Ten’s cancellation in August. The public outcry, spearheaded by parents, undoubtedly impacted the conference’s decision to return.
“We understand it's a difficult time. We get it,” said Jim Gant, who credited Day for his responsive approach to mental health. “There’s no doubt that there’s more communication going on with families.”
In 2014, Meyer and Ohio State’s parents were loud in their advocacy for the reimbursement of costs incurred traveling to College Football Playoff games. They won, as the NCAA issued a waiver for parents and legal guardians to collect up to $1,250 per parent for travel, hotel, and meals.
“That made my day,” Meyer said after the ruling.
When players are at the football facility, attention usually centers on Ohio State’s national championship chase. The mood is serious, sometimes bordering on tense. But Day’s empathy shines through, aware of the sacrifices that players have made and the toll from months of being sequestered, by lessening the intensity. An impromptu game of dodgeball following the cancellation of the Maryland game went viral on social media.
“Usually in practice or certain moments where it needs to be serious or focused, we’ve backed off,” Day said. “They need time to laugh and have fun. If this isn’t the best part of the day and they aren’t having fun when they come in the building, then the practice isn’t going to be very good.”
Emotions were supercharged last week, as positive tests and Thanksgiving away from family was a cocktail of dejection. Ohio State had walk-throughs Wednesday and Thursday, virtual meetings, and a socially distanced Thanksgiving meal.
“It’s real tough. Thanksgiving is for family. It’s a family holiday,” wide receiver Chris Olave said. “Not having family around is a sacrifice we have to make for the next couple months.”
For nine months, the college experience — parties, bars, socializing — has been nonexistent. Empty stadiums add to the anticlimactic nature of the season, with nearly every aspect of what makes being a college athlete exhilarating all but disappearing. It’s even trickled down to the coaches, as some have stayed away from their families to limit exposure to the virus.
“It’s hard for any young person not to be able to go out and do what you want and just live in this bubble,” senior captain Jonathon Cooper said. “But I feel like the way my team’s handled it has been amazing. I feel like we’ve helped each other out with all those areas.”
The Indiana game was the first time Gant’s mother, Rhonda Kimmons, or father missed one of his games, at any age. They’ll miss their second game Saturday because the state of Michigan’s guidelines do not allow anyone to attend games. Ohio State’s protocols will be revisited next week and a decision will be made on family members attending the Michigan game.
“I try to look at it with perspective. We aren’t the only ones going through stuff right now,” Cooper said. “The whole country is going through troubling times. What we have to our advantage is each other. That’s a lot more than what some people have. When you put that in perspective, knowing we have each other, you realize that it’s not that tough. We’ll be fine.”
First Published December 3, 2020, 3:00 p.m.
